A few months ago I read this quote from Yung Pueblo that profoundly moved me. It says the following: “They say nobody is coming to save you, but many people have saved me, even if they didn’t intend to. It can be as small as a smile from a stranger, a nudge from an animal, words from a writer, the lyrics to a song, an observant friend. We are all saving each other every single day in tiny seemingly insignificant ways”. 

I can easily think of over thousands of situations where others have saved me, even when they didn’t intend to. Without going too much into details, and giving out names, this is a post geared towards gratitude. 

• Thank you for inviting me over to your family’s Christmas and Thanksgiving dinners so that I wasn’t alone.

• Thank you for being patient with me while I opened myself up to start our friendship.

• Thank you for forgiving me when I didn’t know what I was doing and didn’t know any better.

• Thank you for asking me "Do you forgive me" - of course, I do. Because I have fucked up so many times in my life, too. 

• Thank you for holding space for me to “come out” to you a decade ago. 

• Thank you for always continuously sharing words of wisdom and also your humorous side. 

• Thank you for showing me that my silly, goofy self was welcomed and needed in the world. 

• Thank you for telling me that you love me. 

• Thank you for helping me pay my rent when I was unemployed, and on the verge of being evicted. 

• Thank you for including me in your prayers, even when I didn’t feel deserving of them. 

• Thank you for loving me as I am, never trying to change me and supporting my daily change and growth. 

• Thank you for helping me find my own sense of fashion and having the courage to bring it fruition. 

• Thank you for being a witness to my tears and moments of sadness without running away. 

• Thank you for always being the first to tell me “happy birthday” without fail. 

• Thank you for moving to a new state with me and building a new life. 

• Thank you for your therapy services - I carry those sessions with me in my soul. 

• Thank you for being a secondary “mother” and “father” figure to me. 

• Thank you for continuing to be my friend, even when I wasn’t a great one in return. 

• Thank you for employing me, when everyone else overlooked me/denied me. 

• Thank you for being a great manager, and showing me leadership skills. 

• Thank you for helping encourage me to enroll into college a second time, and for keeping me motivated to finish my bachelors degree. 

• Thank you for housing me when I didn’t have any place to go. 

• Thank you for being my go-to person for general life guidance.

• Thank you for checking in on me, even when I was non-responsive. 

• Thank you for being a soul-brother to me for the last two decades - it’s been an honor watching each other grow + prosper. 

• Thank you for being the first queer tattoo artist I went to - you made me feel SO safe and comfortable. 

• Thank you for financially assisting me in moving to a new state. 

• Thank you for training me and showing me a new healing modality. 

• Thank you for holding space for me to complain and never shaming me about how I was feeling at that time. 

• Thank you for being a spiritual mentor and friend to me for over 12 years. 

• Thank you for paying for my medical appointment that I couldn't afford at the time. 

• Thank you for being like an older sister to me. For giving me tough love, for helping me understand how to regulate my emotions at work and how to become a leader at work. 

• Thank you for forgiving me when I said something terrible to you while I was intoxicated. To think we are the best of friends now is a miracle. 

• Thank you for showing me examples of who I did not want to become. 

This list is certainly only a tiny fraction of what is coming to mind currently. But a true and genuine “thank you” to so many people who helped save me unintentionally. I wouldn’t be where I am or who I am today without everyone’s assistance. I know that I didn’t do this on my own -  though I’d like to think I did it on my own, it would be a grave disservice to not mention every single one of you. 

I look forward to yet another day of life, and another chance to connect with those who stumble into my life pathways. I also long to being someone who can assist others in their life journeys, too. 

Yesterday I went to Venice Beach early in the morning to decompress from my work week, and to regulate my nervous system. Something so magical happens to me every time I am by the beach - I tend to forget all about the smaller problems in life and reconnect with myself. I observed so much this day: children laughing, building sandcastles, and running into water. I saw people sitting down and watching the waves wax and wane. Some people were praying, others were meditating, stretching, and playing sound bowls. I saw people picking up trash along the coastline, people running/exercising, and people walking their dogs.

After a few minutes of observing the environment at the beach, I took some time to close my eyes, listen to the way the ocean waves speak, meditate, and do some Reiki on myself. Once I felt in tune, I was ready to conduct a Tarot reading for myself. As I shuffled the cards, I asked “tell me what you think I ought to know about myself right now,” and I pulled four cards. Each card that I drew, was meant for a specific subject:

1. Card I: Mental (how I think, learn and communicate)  - 7 of Cups

• The 7 of cups is ruled by the planet Venus in the zodiac sign Scorpio. Venus is the planet of love, desire, comfort, art, sexuality, and pleasure. Scorpio is associated with transformation, death, rebirth, the taboo, depth, secrecy, and high sensitivity/psychic awareness. 

• The card has several interpretations: hoping, wishing, daydreaming, planning, not being grounded or planted in reality, illusion and even fallacy. The card can also be associated with the 7 planets: The Sun (core identity), The Moon (feelings), Mercury (communication), Mars (action), Venus (love), Pluto (transformation), and Saturn (discipline). 

• The medicine this card can provide is: While wishing and daydreaming can provide us important insight, it is also imperative that we take action on these desires to physically manifest them into reality. Be careful what you wish for, as everything is never as it seems.

• My overall thoughts: While I may totally be in fantasy-land mentally, I must also take physical action to manifest the life that I dream of. I must also be careful about how I think - as thoughts become transferable energies. I should also look into long-term effects of any decisions I do make.

2. Card II: Emotional (how I feel and my intuition) - 10 of Wands

• The 10 of Wands is ruled by the planet Saturn in Sagittarius. Saturn is the planet of rules, regulations, responsibilities, restrictions, karmic lessons, and growth. Sagittarius is associated with philosophy, travel, religion and spirituality, adventure, and being in tune with the animalistic and humanistic parts of ourselves. 

• This card has several interpretations: hard work, discipline, tact, strength, being overwhelmed, not being able to see clearly, having too much on your plate, back pain, instability, and stubbornness. 

• The medicine this card can provide is: Sometimes we have to learn when to put people/places/things “down,” so that we can see what is a head more clearly. Fire can purify a stone into a diamond - meaning that hard work will often test us, but also bring forth the rewards and results we are desiring. Knowing when to ask for help is key; pain is inevitable, but suffering… that is optional. When we hold a person/place/situation too closely and tightly, we become narrow-minded and on an even narrower path, we aren't able to allow life to flow. 

• My overall thoughts: I am completed overloaded emotionally. And I am carry more weight than I can bare. I know that I must ask for help from friends, family, my partner, and my spirit team. I cannot do this alone. I also understand that my current life path is for my overall growth. This is also a test to rely heavily on my gut and intuitions, as they won't lead me the wrong way - I must get out of my head, and into my heart and soul. 

3. Card II: Physical (everything that resides in this physical planet) - 10 of Swords

The 10 of Swords is ruled by the luminary the Sun in the zodiac sign Gemini. The Sun is confidence, radiance, it illuminates the darker parts of people/places/things, it gives us honesty, and without the Sun everything on planet earth would perish. Gemini is associated with siblings, twins, communication, thoughts, learning, short travels, love, and being multifaceted. 

• This card has several interpretations: being “pinned down,” exhaustion, feeling overwhelmed mentally, being stuck in a pattern, surrender, metaphoric death, a woe-is-me mentality, illusion, emotions, and endings and a new beginning.

• The medicine this card can provide is: Sometimes we have to be lost in order to be found. It is only at the bottom of the pit, are we able to see that the only decision is now to move on and up. Once we have found ourselves in an unhealthy mental loop, we can break the pattern and create new brain waves and connections. Nothing is ever as bad as we portray it to be, we tend to make situations worse than what reality is. Every day we get two blessings no matter what happens: 1.) We get to go to bed and put to rest all our failures. 2.) We get another chance at life, and get to “try” all over again. 

• My overall thoughts: "Woe is me! No on else has ever had such a hard time" - While I may be going through a difficult life chapter, I also acknowledge that I have free will and dominion to change and alter my life path at any place and time. Every second of every day is a chance to change what I don't like in my life. I must also 'accept' how I feel about certain things in my life, holding validity for my feelings. 

4. Card IV: Spiritual (My desires, passions and free will) - 8 of Wands 

• The 8 of Wands is ruled by the planet Mercury in the zodiac sign of Sagittarius. Mercury is the planet associated with time, communication, traveling, movement, thought patterns, learning, philosophy. Sagittarius is associated with philosophy, travel, religion and spirituality, adventure, and being in tune with the animalistic and humanistic parts of ourselves

• This card has several interpretations: A plan of action that is in current motion, a goal or bullseye that is being aimed for, movement, short traveling, mental and physical direction, and learning how to go with the flow of life. 

• The medicine this card can provide is: Sagittarius is known as the archer (e.g., using the bow and arrow) who puts a marker on people/places/things they desire. This card can represent the arrows one shoots when they have a goal/bullseys in mind. This card also represents mystery and letting life flow the way it goes. We don’t know where the arrows will land as we can only see them in flight. The card also showcases “Jacob’s Ladder,” this represents the pathway to connecting to the higher power/higher source. 

• My overall thoughts: Something large is underway ~ whether I know that or not. I must also be open to going with the flow of the rivers of life, and allow it to take me where it needs to. I must reconnect with my spiritual ways and mannerisms again, for I know that I cannot do this on my own this time. 

I felt compelled to share my Tarot reading with you all. I strongly believe that each one of us are interconnected . Someone else may be going through what I am going through on some level, too. My hopes are that the medicine I received through these cards can be shared with you, as my readers. Take what is relevant, leave what isn't. 

Peace, peace, peace, y'all. 

“Saturn Return” seems to be a recirculating topic in pop culture again (with astrologers, artists, and authors bringing exposure to it). However, let’s break it down - Saturn is the planet associated with time, death, karma, restrictions, structure, responsibilities, and life-lessons. In our birthcharts, we’re able to see where the planet Saturn was the day and time we were born (and in which zodiac sign and house it is in). Saturn Return occurs every 29.5 years in our lives, helping us re-evaluate ourselves at the end of our 20s, 50s, and 80s. 

You are probably most aware of Saturn Return because you are (or will be) entering your first one. During your first Saturn Return (generally, ages 27-30), you’ll notice repeated life-lessons occur - Saturn wants to see what you have learned, and how you will respond this time around. Some life-lessons could be: 

• Where you are professionally, and if you are aligned with it. Maybe you are, perhaps you aren’t. If you aren’t, this could be the opportunity to find where that lies. If you are, maybe it’s time to take your profession to the next level.  

• Friends - is it time to move on and away from them or grow closer and more in-depth? Is it also time to form new friendships? 

• Significant other(s). Does this current relationship support and help foster growth? If it doesn’t, maybe this is also the time to have a mature conversation and see where the relationship is headed. If it does, what is the next chapter in the relationship (e.g. marriage)? 

• Health and wellness. As you start to get older, you’ll notice changes to your mental, physical, emotional, and spiritual self. This is the time to create a plan around getting yourself more in tune on all levels. Think of doctors, fitness coaches,  therapists/counselors, and spiritual guides. 

• Boundary setting. If you are someone who is a people-pleaser and can’t say “no” to others, Saturn will ask you to assess this. As you start to get older, you’ll start to value your peace and sanity over pleasing others, and worrying less about what others will think or say when you stand in your own power.

• Taking accountability is huge in Saturn’s perspective. While life may throw us unique cards, Saturn wants to see where we will take accountability for our own actions in life. 

• Death. While most of us aren’t fond of this word and what it means, it is the most natural occurring thing. Everything parishes. Understanding how to work with mortality helps us be at peace with our current life and prepare for the future. 

These are just a few examples of what could come to fruition during your Saturn Return. And while this isn’t meant to deter you from the tough work, it is meant to make you aware of what to expect during this period. For me, my Saturn Return was full of endings, beginnings, tough conversations with myself and others, establishing new modes of being, taking more accountability for my current life, and a better understanding and appreciation for the planet Saturn. 

Everyone is going through some sort of life event/chapter currently. Not only are we collectively dealing with the state of the world and watching empires collapse, but we are also witnessing in real-time wars, injustices, and the evil that humanity is capable of (historically repeated since the beginning of time). While trying to hold ourselves together, living in this system, we are also bearing the pain of the world, and on most days, this is a rather difficult task. At what point is it okay for us to be still, rest, and recuperate? Answer: The time is right now! 

I cannot tell you the number of times I failed to take care of myself because I wanted to take care of others. My natural demeanor is to be a fixer of everyone’s problem because I don’t want anyone to suffer. But the past has shown me that when my cup is not full, I only damage myself by giving away what I do not have. What is that saying? Quoting this loosely, “It is okay to fill your cup up first”. While I am still implementing this lesson, I understand the overall principle. You have to be able to meet your own needs before you can begin to meet the needs of others. 

There are many ways to recover and bring you peace, but I wanted to share a few with you all: 

• Deep sleeping and sporadic naps

• Meditating

• Going on a walk/run in your neighborhood

• Physically going to your favorite place

• Being reclusive and hermit-like 

• Writing and expressing your thoughts (pen + paper or digitally)

• Self-Talk

• Taking a shower/bath 

• Saying “no” to any requests you don’t have space + time for 

• Turning off your phone 

• Listening to music/a podcast 

• Reading 

• Drawing

• Painting

• Creating (anything)

• A solo date (anything, truly) 

• A car ride/bike ride (within the city or in the suburbs)

• Sitting in the park and observing humanity 

In my experience, when I have done any of the above, it has allowed me to self-regulate my nervous system. Which in turn allowed me to show up to be more present and show up to the next day of life. 

Rogers Behavioral Health mentions the following: “When we’re resting, we’re not doing, planning, or overthinking. We’re giving our minds and bodies the opportunity to pause from the activities of life and recharge” (Nokes-Strenz, para. 1). 

In the Tarot card to the left, we see this character lying down in a calm and reposed manner. We see that there are no facial expressions, their eyes are closed, and their hands are in a prayer-like position. We can also see 3 swords hung up on the wall, pointing downwards. Could we make the assumption that this character has decided to hang up their active mind and thoughts? Sure! We could also assume that they are in some sacred place. Take a look at the stained glass in the background. Several Tarot books mention that this is a picture of Jesus bestowing a boon to the person kneeling. And although hidden, you can see the words “pax” in the stained glass. Pax is a Latin word that means “peace”. Not portrayed in the Smith-Rider Waite deck, there is a female character dressed in white (purity, a new chapter, spirit) with a cape adorned with butterflies (transformation, birds eye view, patience), offering the character lying down a white rose (purity, beauty, love). 

Reviewing the entirety of the card and definitions mentioned above, I can safely assume that meditation, rest, and relaxation bring about peace on the mental, emotional, spiritual, and physical levels. When we can rest, the body can recuperate. The body is able to heal on its own. Rest also helps our mind begin to understand what is important, what changes need to be made, and what things we can discard from our lives. 

References 

Nokes-Stenz, Kim. “Benefits of Rest for Mental Health.” Rogers Behavioral Health, 12 Feb. 2025, rogersbh.org/blog/benefits-rest-mental-health/.

Judgement - In the past, every time I pulled this Tarot card, I’d immediately get irritated and put the card back in the deck. I automatically assumed it held strong negative connotations, and it only related to religious ideologies. And while this can be partially true, it goes deeper than religion. After many consistent years of studying the Tarot and its symbology, I have grown fond of this card and the word judgement for many reasons:

The past, the present, and reviewing how we can exit karmic cycles with love:

Judgement of our past and our present with loving eyes helps us comprehend why we did what we did, how it shaped our current life, and where we can go. I was once told by my mentor, “You did the best you could with the knowledge you had at the time”. These sage words allowed me to be more compassionate, empathetic, and have less harsh self-judgements. Studying the past has aided me in understanding how to decipher when I am falling into habitual patterns and how to choose an alternative path to break free from karmic cycles. Choosing alternative responses has helped me grow into new soul chapters and lessons, advancing me to the next stage of life. The key here is doing so with loving eyes. 

Hearing “The Call”:

Sometimes in life, we hear “the call” from the Universe, and we choose to respond; other times, we ignore “the call” and save it for another day. Though I do not believe there is a right or wrong way to live, we ultimately still have to make life decisions and persevere through the outcomes. The Universe has an interesting way of communicating with us, letting us know when change is required of us. Most communication at first is subtle, soft, and coincidental. But after so many attempts, the Universe then starts to talk louder, and supply you more direct signs, and before you know it, the rug is swept from under your feet. 

Because we live in such a fast-paced world, we rarely check in with our bodies, minds, and spirits, and this is how we miss the initial “call” from the Universe. I urge you to take 5 minutes at the start of your day to go through what makes sense, what doesn’t, and where you want to see change. In my experience, the Universe does want to support you in growth and advancement. But also requires us to make sacrifices and rid ourselves of what no longer serves us.

Once you get more adept at hearing “the call” from the Universe, you’ll notice the subtle communications the first time around. You’ll know that the time is near to get rid of dead weight and transform like the Phoenix from the ashes. 

Being unafraid of our nakedness:

I have been mostly terrified of expressing my truths and about how it would affect others. As I have grown into my middle 30’s, I now comprehend that I am the only person who can advocate for my wants, needs, and desires. And that I bear no responsibility for how others receive and or react to any of it. What does it mean to walk naked in life? Well, to be naked means that there is nothing to conceal. Nothing to be ashamed of. Being able to ask for what you want and need from yourself, others, and the Universe. My mentor also shared this with me: “When you tell the truth, there are no lies to remember”. For over a decade, I have been actively working on always telling the truth, even when it was difficult, because I knew that it meant ending a work relationship, a friendship, a relationship, family ties, and karmic cycles. However, I stand here now as a witness to the testament that “the truth will set you free,” and what’s meant for you won’t leave you behind. Be unafraid of your nakedness, live life as raw as possible, and you too will bear its fruits. 

Judging ourselves far harsher than God/Source/Universe does:

One of my recent passions has been studying Death, and what happens to us after this mortal life. One of the concepts I have been stuck on is that we die, we go back to wherever we were first created, and we become the sole Judge of our lives. We get a chance to review our entire life on earth; to see what we did right, where we could have used improvement, and that we took the experience too seriously. We often see that the human experience is short, almost like the blink of an eye. The concept goes to explain that we judge ourselves far harsher than God/Source/Universe does. Once we have had the chance to do our life review, we make amends with the whole experience, and decide if we want to go back to earth to “try” again. In short, the human experience is meant to give us the full spectrum - happiness, sadness, anger, grief, depression, hope, despair, and so on and so forth. This is also a reminder that judging ourselves should be practiced with love, and the aim is to do better with each passing minute, and not to condemn ourselves. 

"Death creates context for our lives. My entire life is leading up to that point". - Alua Arthur, a Death Doula from Los Angeles 

I recently started an HR role for a local Home Health and Hospice agency in California. My time spent in the Hospice wing has exponentially changed my life 360 degrees. 

I want to share the knowledge I gained over the course of a few months:

- Our job titles, career goals, and the money we make aren't topics we discuss on our deathbeds - they are all merely a means to pay bills and purchase life experiences

- Our time here on earth is limited - take up every opportunity that your soul and heart desire

- We are all actively "dying" every day - recognize this and learn to savor each moment of the day

- We all wind up having an ailment/disease - enjoy the body and health you have now

- Get your affairs in order with every person, place, and thing now - everything perishes 

- There are no accidents or mistakes in life - everything is a life lesson and gets you to the next chapter 

- There is no need to write a "legacy" - every action we take is how we will be remembered and talked about 

- It's never too early to start planning a "Last Will and Testament" - it will help your family members be less stressed about making decisions and be able to focus on spending quality time with you 

- Although health, nutrition, and fitness are important - so is eating that piece of cake, those fries, etc... 

- Lastly, let people merge into that traffic lane - yes, you're tired and trying to get home, but so is the other person. That elevated blood pressure is killing you more than you know. 

Death and dying is a topic that most of us don't want to talk about or acknowledge, but I believe we must normalize something that is a part of life. Everything we know expires (ex: those roses you bought, that bag of salad mix you didn't eat, a car battery, a tv, a cell phone, etc).

I actively choose to enjoy all life's pleasures and pains. With that said, I will be enrolling myself to become a certified Death Doula. This work is an important part of me and my life's mission. 

A question to ask yourself:

"What must I do to be at peace with myself, so that I may live presently, and die gracefully. Holding both at the same time". - Alua Arthur, a Death Doula from Los Angeles

It can be far too easy to forget that we are spiritual beings first and foremost and that we have a human experience second. Often, we can feel that the Universe is conspiring against us by being dealt interesting life cards. 

I can personally attest to several points in my past/current life where I have felt very attacked by the Universe and have even cursed its name as events unfolded. Through continuous years of Psychological therapy sessions, self-development, getting to know my shadow self, healing childhood trauma, and improving my relationship with God/Source/Universe/Divine Energy, I am becoming more aware of my true, authentic self. I am still very much attached to this material world/plane and my desired outcomes, but I am getting into the better habit of grounding myself in the fact that “I am a spirit having a human experience”. 

Having this mentality helps me actualize that everything here on Earth is merely an experience that I am meant to have. I am also learning that I cannot control anything outside of my body, but that I can control how I choose to react to it all. Understanding this has made all the difference in the quality of my life and how I choose to live moving forward. 

Can I entertain you with a thought that was given to me years ago? What if I told you that you hand-selected every single experience you have gone through, are currently going through, and will go through in life? 

What if I told you that you made a soul contract before you incarnated on Earth, and you have agreed to go through various specific experiences? What if I told you that the Gods/Goddesses applaud us for choosing to come to Earth to learn all its different aspects? Planet Earth is the densest and heaviest of all the planets, therefore, it makes sense why life on planet Earth can be so interesting. 

The reason I am telling you that you selected every single experience you have gone through, are currently going through, and will go through in life is so that you can have more compassion for yourself first and foremost, but so that you can also have compassion for others. 

When you can start to de-compartmentalize everything as “good” or “bad” and learn to view everything as merely an experience for your growth, both pleasurable and painful, then you, too, can learn to trust in the Universe and know that everything is perfect, and is working out in your highest good and alignment/favor.